Everybody wants to talk about Michael Harris II aka Megahertz, so let’s talk about him. Michael Harris II (1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 16th homer, 2nd homer in two games, and 3rd homer in a week) is hitting around .400 in the 2nd half with 10 HRs and a 1.100+ OPS. In the 1st half, he hit .210 with six homers and a .551 OPS. He was broken and now he’s whole. He was wrong and now he’s right. He was mega hurting and now he’s Megahertz. People love a good narrative. A story for teeth to sink into. He changed his stance:
That is pretty dramatic. So, he’ll now just be great for the rest of his career? It’s almost like people were hit on the head. He’s streaky. He’s always been streaky. I told you to buy low on him a month-plus ago. What makes you think he won’t be cold as ice to start next year? And not good Cold as Ice as in Vanilla Ice’s starrer. Like I said yesterday, maybe he’s not a .220 hitter, but maybe he’s not a .400 hitter either. Be reasonable. He’s a .280 hitter with 20-homer power who runs hot and cold. Speaking of hot, and maybe even hotter than Harris recently, Jurickson Profar went 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his 10th homer, 3rd homer in two games, 4th homer in three games, fifth shot to the butt in a week administered by Fernando Tatis Sr. [phone rings] I see, I see, no, I don’t want to get sued. Of course, it’s all in jest, okay, I will say that. Thanks! [hangs up phone] Law Offices of Tellez, Gelof and Kremer say I have to tell you I’m kidding. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jake Fraley – Claimed off waivers by Braves. Playoffs back on!
Kyle Teel – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 4th homer, and 2nd homer in two games, and he’s batting third. Now ya gotta ask yourself if you’re committed enough to the schmotato cause to schmotato this way.
Francisco Alvarez – Hit the IL with a sprained thumb that will eventually require surgery, maybe in the offseason. Near the top of the 7-day Player Rater overall — not just for catchers — was Francisco Alvarez, and that seems like his fate in his early career. Finally puts it together and gets injured. Hopefully the entire Mets’ organization isn’t cursed. [intern whispers in ear] Oh, I see, that’s a bummer for them.
David Peterson – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.18. This start was vs. the Nats, which reminded me to check to see if James Wood was called up yet. I faintly remember him playing in the 1st half, but I feel like that was a dream.
Juan Soto – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 31st homer. Sexy Dr. Pepper returned home with a dong, which sounds like someone chickening out at an WNBA game and not chucking anything on the court.
Mark Vientos – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, and 2nd homer in two games. Ah, I see, maybe he’s an August/September hitter? Was that why I liked him going into this year? I have vague questions to try to alleviate some responsibility for me liking him.
Brett Baty – 1-for-3 and his 14th homer. If the Mets could combine Vientos and Baty, they’d have a fine-looking corner man!
Jeff McNeil – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer, hitting .260. Just went to look at his contract to see how many more years I’d have to talk about this schmohawk. One more! And maybe, if we’re lucky, he gets DFA’d early next year. ab9287fb1–Sorry, that’s not my password, my fingers were crossed.
George Springer – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam (20) and legs (13), and 2nd homer in three games. Zombino chomp-chomp brain custard! Chomp-chomp!
Alejandro Kirk – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 10th homer, 2nd homer in two games, third homer in four games. Hot schmotato alert!
Max Scherzer – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.60. As someone who watched most of this start (because I wanted to see some fireworks, due to Pham, even though he didn’t play), Scherzer did not look as good as the line. Lots of ducks on the pond, as they say. Good enough, clearly! More of a Cust kayin’.
Mitch Keller – 3 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 4.34. No one next March will remember he had a 3.48 ERA in 119 IP in the 1st half. It’s all gone to pot since, don’t get me wrong, but in most leagues, you could’ve just moved on when he started soiling the bed.
Edward Cabrera – 4 1/3 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.52, and last start was a dud too. Uh-oh, EdCab out here acting like he’s testing seatbelts and hitting a wall.
Michael McGreevy – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.42, and out at 80 pitches. Streamonator is slightly positive on McGreevy for his next and could see trying him.
Riley O’Brien – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.56, and his 2nd save, as Romero worked the 8th for the 2nd game in a row, and O’Brien would’ve been brought for the save, if there was one on Monday. Might be because Romero faced the middle of the order, but it’s the Marlins, so feels like I’m fishing. I guess hold Romero but I could see getting ROB’d for the handcuff.
Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-4 and his 44th homer. By the way, he has 104 RBIs, and he was only moved down to the two hole for most games. Imagine if he was the cleanup guy. He’d have 217 RBIs. I used a calculator.
Cristopher Sanchez – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.46. I might have faulty memory or confirmation bias, but I believe Sanchez is the first guy ever to have a Spring Training narrative that he was about to breakout and actually did.
Bryson Stott – 1-for-2, 2 runs and a slam (8) and legs (20), hitting .243. At the end of the year, he’s gonna be a sneeze and a whisper away from a 12/30 season, and that’s valuable, but, boy, there were some moments along the way when I did not care much for him and his average and hitting 9th takes a lot of sail out of the wind.
J.T. Realmuto – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and a slam (9) and legs (7), hitting .278, 2nd homer in as many games. Jerry Tomato crushing it! Wonder if it’s fire-roasted.
Bryce Miller – 5 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 5.87, as he returned from the IL and pitched for the 1st time since June 6th. Honestly, I thought it was gonna go much worse. It still wasn’t good, don’t get me wrong, but I thought it was going be a, “Holy hell, that’s awful.”
Adley Rutschman – Scratched with ab discomfort. Too bad, so sad! More playing time for Basallo–Wait, they started Alex Jackson at catcher? Emoji that is in the shape of a question mark that is ramming its head into a wall.
Tomoyuki Sugano – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 hits,z ero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.97. His pitching is so awful, and that he has an ERA that good (it’s still not that good, but it’s good for his pitching), I 100% believe Sugano is practicing The Secret. He’s self-help-book’d himself a decent season. There’s no other way.
Walker Buehler – 4 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 5.40. Oh, he’s not good either, but think about if he had Sugano’s life coach. He’d be better!
Nathaniel Lowe – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 17th homer. This was his first Fenway Park homer as a Red Sox (singular), and it tied up the game in the 9th, because the O’s have no relief pitching, but it might be what gets Lowe going. Fever Pitch was a flimsier premise, and that worked.
Hunter Greene – 6 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 12 Ks, ERA at 2.63. If he stays healthy one year, he’s gonna win the Cy. Yes, over Skenes.
Tony Santillan – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.79, and his 4th save. On Sunday, two runs allowed by Pagan. On Monday, Pagan was rested. On Tuesday, no Pagan. On Wednesday, I’m officially concerned by Pagan.
Noelvi Marte – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer. Can we please move him up to the two hole? Please.
Jo Adell – 3-for-4, and his 27th and 28th homer. He’s finally passed Mike Trout for fantasy value for good, meaning next year it’ll be Adell before Trout. That’s mostly a compliment to Adell, though it’s a slight dig on Trout.
Nick Pivetta – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.81. Imagine you had Freddy Peralta, Pivetta and Eovaldi just randomly from a draft and were like, “Meh, it’s April, I’m trading them for Pablo Lopez, Strider and Logan Gilbert. Upgrade, baby!”
Jung Hoo Lee – 2-for-4 and his 7th homer. Member we thought he was breaking out in April? Turned out April powers, did not bring May flowers.
Aaron Judge – 2-for-5, 3 runs and his 40th homer. That was the only home run in yesterday’s game for the Yankees. Wait, that’s not right. There were nine.
Giancarlo Stanton – 2-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 13th and 14th homer. That’s in 45 games. C’mon, you gotta love him a little, no?
Cody Bellinger – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 23rd and 24th homer. Kinda wild none of these Yankees’ homers were against position players. Also, in this game, Jazz Chisholm Jr. (2-for-5) hit his 22nd homer, and Jose Caballero (2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs) hit his 3rd homer. Well, sure, they were playing in that goofy minor league stadium in Tampa with its silly dimensions.
Shane Baz – 3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.22. My man’s been Bazunged.
Jose Ramirez – 1-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 26th homer, hitting .291. Him or Corbin Carroll (2-for-4, 2 runs, 1 RBI, 17th steal) next year? Damn, you’re still sleeping on Ramirez after a decade of production.
Tanner Bibee – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.62. Not even going to point out how unlucky he’s been for fear you might get an idea about picking him up. Don’t get those ideas in your head.
Shea Langeliers – 1-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 27th homer. The power is there. Always been. What should have you nodding your head and bebopping along is his .269 average.
Jacob Lopez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.28. Ja-Lo, is it me you’re looking for? Yes, it is actually! Streamonator likes him a little bit next time, but I love him every time.
Brooks Lee – 1-for-4, 2 runs and his 13th homer, 2nd homer in two games. So, hot schmotato alert, but also in this game Ryan Jeffers (2-for-4) hit his 9th homer, who was hitting 2nd in the order, which got me a little annoyed at Baldelli, so nothing ever comes without an ulcer.
Hunter Brown – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.36 vs. Tarik Skubal – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 2.32. Excellent example of “Do you really need to draft a starter in the 1st round?” Brown was much later than Skubal, and is near a top five starter. Skubal’s the best, obviously, but you don’t need the best.
Mike Yastrzemski – 1-for-3, 2 runs and his 13th homer, and 2nd homer in two games, and 3rd homer in a week. At Carl’s Jr. Jr., they’re serving hot schmotatoes.
Vinnie Pasquantino – 2-for-3, 2 runs and his 24th homer, 2nd homer in two games, 3rd homer in a week. 6th homer in August, and that’s after six homers in July. Basically, nothing else of note (hitting around .200 this month), but you really only have him for power and RBIs. Pasketti has come with a side of ribbies, and, if he comes with six homers the rest of the year, hard to not see this as a successful year.
Bobby Witt Jr. – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th homer. He had a huge August last year to get his power up on the year, and this year…Well, he had a big August last year.
Seth Lugo – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.73. Nice bounce back start after a couple Why does he hate me’s. As I said after his last start, he’ll end up around a 3.40-3.60 ERA pitcher on the year, because he always is.
Joc Pederson – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer. I’m a big fan of Joc, which is what I say right before saying, he should’ve been DFA’d in April. That he continues to hit cleanup and .150 is bizzonkers. Just a total dead spot in the middle of the lineup all year.
Corey Seager – 1-for-3 and his 19th homer, 2nd homer in three games. I hope he has 11 homers in his bat the rest of the way, so he can sucker someone else into his shenanigans next year. Ain’t gonna be me! I’m out on all shenanigans!
Jacob deGrom – Having Wednesday start skipped due to shoulder fatigue, but won’t go on the IL. Great, just in time to cloud everyone’s opinion of him for 2026.
Owen Caissie – 3-for-6, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer. Kyle Tucker who?! Kyle Tucker is a multi-year All-Star, who is in the middle of a slump. I know, Random Italicized Voice. It’s a figure of speech. “Kyle Tucker who” isn’t a figure of speech. It’s barely a sentence.
Matthew Boyd – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.61. Okay, but this was against the 1927 Brewers. Against a normal team that’s a 7 IP, 0 ER start.
Willi Castro – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 11th homer. This was his first home run as a Cub and the 1st time I saw his name in the Cubs’ lineup and accidentally wrote out Starlin Castro, before deleting it.
Brandon Woodruff – 4 1/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 2.47. 2nd start in a row where he only went four-ish innings, so concerning, but a 2.47 ERA has to give him at least a one game bye.
Christian Yelich – 2-for-7 and his 26th homer, three homers in the last week. Naturally, he’s protected in the lineup by Andrew Vaughn.
Alex Call – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. Would’ve made a nice batty *pinkie to mouth* Call.
Emmet Sheehan – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.17. One thing that’s very nice this year with opposing pitchers going into Coors is the Suckies are so Suckies-y you don’t have to bench your pitchers. Streamonator also loves his next one, so keep on giddy’ing on.
Shohei Ohtani – 1-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 44th homer. Can you imagine what his stats would look like if he was a Rockie? 80 homers a year? 90? Do I hear 100? C’mon, I’m not asking you to bet, I’m doing hypotheticals…for my bookie.
Kyle Karros – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 1st major league homer. How fitting it was against the Dodgers, the team his dad played for. It was like when Ellis Burks’s daughter Delta brought in Designing Women to decorate the Rockies’ clubhouse.
Brenton Doyle – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer. He has five homers in 24 games in the 2nd half and hitting near-.400 with three steals. I told you to buy him during the All-Star Break. No back pats at all? Oh, hey, Brutus, yeah, you can pat my back. Gratitude would be nice…Ow! Brutus, what did you do? Eh, you? What’s that? I’m dying, you have to speak up? It’s “et tu?” Oh, okay, I’m sorry, I don’t speak Latin.
