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Well, well, well. Take a look at that. We have a veritable smorgasbord of options placed before us this week. The quality isn’t too bad, either, though the matchups are a bit of a mixed bag in many cases.

I feel like I should have more to say as way of introduction to the rankings below, but I have a hunch you aren’t particularly upset that I don’t. So, let’s get to what you came for.

What follows are our projections at time of writing as to who will be making two-starts this week, but weather, injuries, and secretive team management mean they are just that: projections. To stay as up-to-date as possible, consult Rudy Gamble’s invaluable Streamonator.

Chocolate Chip Cookies (Must Start)

They are kings of the cookie world for a reason. A warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookie just makes you feel happy. Sort of like getting to set your rosters knowing you get two starts this week from these guys.

• No, I didn’t forget what happened to Luzardo in back-to-back starts prior to his last one. I believe the explanation given that he was tipping his pitches in those starts and got it corrected prior to his recent one. He’s been excellent the rest of the season, so why not let him work to fix the damage those starts did to your ERA and WHIP? I know, the Mets matchup isn’t ideal. Neither is the Dodgers one for Cease. Things aren’t always as perfect as we wish they were. As both those pitchers have reminded us at times.
• For the record, the computer would have Abbott down in the Oatmeal Cookie range. I obviously disagree. He’s not a perfect pitcher, I’ll grant, but I wouldn’t think twice about plugging him in this week.

Sugar Cookies (Should Start)

They’re fine. You could certainly do worse than having these guys in your lineup, but don’t expect it to be remarkable.

• Yes, this is probably an overreaction to Soriano’s last start being as good as it was, and not properly accounting for how tough of a matchup the Yankees in New York is. In defense…um…look, he’s been mostly fairly good this season. And I’m too lazy to add a row to the tier below at this point. So he stays.

Oatmeal Raisin Cookies (Could Start)

These aren’t for everyone. These are the pitchers that may be a pleasant surprise, or they could ruin your week. Tread lightly.

• Gilbert is expected to return early this week, most likely for the first game week. That would give him two starts. I’m kind of hoping it turns out he doesn’t belong on this list this week, because I’d like to see an outing before I put him into my lineup. The uncertainty, both with coming back from injury and the unconfirmed day of his return, is the only reason he’s this low. (If he doesn’t start Monday it would likely be Bryan Woo, who you are starting regardless.)
• Sandy has finally started showing signs of life in his last couple starts. However, they were against the Rockies and Pirates, so it’s hard to be fully bought in to his being back. So, he’s here.
• I don’t actually think you should use Bailey Falter. Streamonator doesn’t think you should use Bailey Falter. He’s here because he does have that 3.36 ERA and 1.12 WHIP, even though it doesn’t make any sense based on the underlying numbers. So if you want to gamble that he’s suddenly unlocked the ability to outperform his xFIP by a run and a half, I can’t stop you. In a head-to-head league, sure, go for it. But in roto, be aware that when the magic runs out, it could do significant and lasting damage to your ratios.

Fortune Cookies (Do Not Start)

Yeah, they’re technically cookies. Hold on, what does that little slip of paper say? “Bad times are heading your way.” Oh. Okay, then.