What you guys and five girl readers don’t know is I can search all comments for keywords. Or key-Wards as was the case yesterday. I searched “Ward” for the last three weeks, and there was at least 500 comments asking to drop Ward. All coming after, on May 6th, I said Taylor Ward (3-for-4, 5 RBIs, 14th homer) was a buy. Repeating myself like Foghorn Leghorn, I said–I said:
Can’t be any more on the nose than that. Let’s see where we’re at since then: 7 HRs, .302 and 22 RBIs, and in the top five on the 7-day Player Rater. Here’s the stats since he “put in extra work,” because we basking, baby: .318/.361/.788, 1.149 OPS, 8 HRs, 24 RBIs over 16 games. Oh, I needed to tell you he “put in extra work” to sell you on my Buy? I need to sell you? Oh, okay, I see. My word ain’t good enough for you. Ward is actually mentioned in this afternoon’s Buy column, because he was only rostered in 56% of leagues. That’s as nutty as he’s been at the plate for three weeks. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tyler Anderson – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.60. Don’t mess with the Bing Bong.
Logan O’Hoppe – 2-for-5, 2 runs and his 14th homer, 3rd homer in two games, and 4th homer in third game and Bing Bong Stadium hasn’t even reached peak Bing Bong yet. Wait until mid-summer.
Denzel Clarke – Will be called up by the A’s. Denzel will be showing up with Spike Lee, two Oscars and incredible speed. Here’s what Itch said, “An off-the-bus All Star, the 6’5” 220 lb Clarke maintained most of the gains he’s made over the past couple years, slashing .269/.339/.445 with 13 home runs and 36 stolen bases in 113 Double-A games, good for a 120 wRC+. He still struck out at a 29.9 percent clip, but he wouldn’t need to shave much from that look like a corner outfield option for the big league team, and I’m lurking outside Grey’s house with a baseball bat.” What on earth. So, shaved Denzel did, he was at a 21.8 K% in Triple-A this year, which is a huge improvement and he hit .286, though with a little high BABIP, even for a guy with his speed. This seems to be the end to JJ Bleday’s everyday playing time, and they would seem to be headed for a platoon, but I guess we’ll see how Clarke’s used. He’s at worst a pickup in deep leagues for speed.
Brent Rooker – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer. He hit 11 HRs in July and .391 and 13 homers in August and September. We haven’t even reached the summer yet in Bing Bong. Bings are gonna be bonging, i.e., you’re crazy to not want Rooker.
Luis Severino – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.11. His stats are so yawnstipating I can’t imagine anyone starting him outside of Streamonator saying, “Let’s go, you baddies.” (Calling people baddies is my new thing, just go with it.)
Ronald Acuña Jr. – Will return today. I am so freakin’ excitew–Sorry, was typing that without using my hands.
Matt Olson – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 11th homer, hitting .250. He didn’t hit his 11th homer last year until June 15th, so he’s ahead of last year’s snail’s pace. Watch that escargot!
Marcell Ozuna – 3-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 9th homer, hitting .278. And he’s behind his 2024 pace, he hit his 15th homer on May 22nd last year. Watch Marcel the shell! The actual movie, it’s good.
Julio Rodriguez – Missed yesterday with a sore back. He said he should be fine by September. I kid. I hope.
George Kirby – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER, as he was activated. Usually I’d say Kevin from ESPN here, but I feel compelled to mention that he was shut down with shoulder fatigue on March 7th. Do I think he’s fine now? I have my reservations (at Chili’s). I see he had a 96 MPH fastball in three minor league starts, and I have more faith in Kirby being fine than I do most pitchers who had shoulder issues, because he is a master of command (another almost great movie mentioned) and doesn’t get big Ks either way. Alas, shoulders being iffy is not good for pitchers.
Dylan Moore – 2-for-4 and his 8th homer. Officially moves in front of Grounder Henderson.
Ronel Blanco – Will get a 2nd opinion on his elbow. 2nd opinions usually go like this, “What did the first doc say? Okay, that but, ‘Seriously.’”
Lance McCullers Jr. – 4 1/3 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 6.57. Watched most of this game with him and Kirby and Kirby looked better than McCullers by a decent amount.
Jose Altuve – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 5th and 6th homer, hitting .243. Someone put on their big boy pants, pushed their high chair into the batter’s box and decided to start hitting.
Bowden Francis – 4 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 5.54. Was looking at Francis’s stats, because it was a short schedule day and I felt like seeing if I could pinpoint the problem, but instead of Francis someone else distracted me. Wow, Tanner Bibee sucked so far. More on him in his blurb. Francis’s curve has a .462 BAA and his split-finger has a .311 BAA, two numbers that made me cackle. That accounts for nearly 35% of his pitches.
Stephen Kolek – 6 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.84. I see Kolek but I want to discuss how hittable Robert Suarez has become, but the format of the roundup doesn’t allow it. Suarez didn’t allow a run, so his two hits allowed will have to go unmentioned. Any hoo! Streamonator loves Kolek’s next and I’d start him everywhere. Looks like an ideal stream for a guy who is only rostered in 17% of leagues.
Gavin Sheets – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 7th and 8th homer. Gavin hittin’ the Sheets out of the ball! On the 7-day Player Rater, it says Sheets is rostered in 86% of leagues, so he’s not in this afternoon’s Buy column, but if he’s available, by all means, i.e., Sheets or get off the pot.
Ranger Suarez – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.70. Things are so incredibly dire in Colorado when guys are making their best start of the year in Coors, repeatedly. This seems crazy to even consider, but I think the Rockies might’ve been better under Bud Black. As the campaign promise states, Bud Black Better!
Chase Dollander – Hit the IL with forearm tightness. As if pitching for the Rockies in Coors wasn’t hard enough. Fantasy Baseball Overlord, how many battles are you giving Chase?
Aaron Civale – 4 IP, 2 ER, ERA at 9.00, as he was activated from the IL. Great, another arm that Misiorowski needs to wait to do a number two enough times that the Brewers react.
Christian Yelich – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and his 8th and 9th homer. Good news, this is gonna help one certain commenter trade Yelich.
Joey Ortiz – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer. He’s one of the unluckiest bats, so he should be better. How much better? Emoji that is making the so-so hand sign, and he’s hitting .173.
Mike Burrows – 5 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, as he was called up. Just gave you my Mike Burrows fantasy. It was written while putting a quarter on a Ms. Pac-Man dash for next game.
Spencer Horwitz – 2-for-5 and his 1st homer, as the Pirates finally scored more than four runs! Though, they still lost. Horwitz (watch your filthy mouth!) tends to get hot in stretches like a yoga mom, so I could see a schmotato run, preemptively.
AJ Smith-Shawver – 3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 3.67. May you never know the real pain the Regression Fairies can inflict.
Jack Flaherty – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.39. He looks like a Buy, if his owner has Restless Jack Syndrome.
Tanner Bibee – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners (1 BB), 8 Ks, ERA at 3.57. Hey, Bowden blurb readers! (Different than Bowden fluffers.) Stats from prior to his start (because things weren’t updated yet), he had a 19.2% O-Swing% (percentage of pitches outside the zone a hitter swings at; a sign of a pitcher getting a hitter to chase), that’s easily the worst in the majors. The worst in all of the majors last year was Erick Fedde with a 24.2% mark. You could drive an RV through the difference. Bibee’s mark last year was 27.7%. Bibee’s currently the lowest of all-time. The next closest is Felix Doubront on 2013, who if memory serves, sucked. Bibee’s Swinging Strike rate? 8.1%. Not nearly as bad, it’s only the same as Dean Kremer! Ya know, one of the worst pitchers in the majors. With all that said (here’s where Grey turns the ship around), I loved Bibee coming into this year, and if this is him correcting his shizz, then I have no problem getting back in.
Lane Thomas – 0-for-4, 1 RBI as he was activated from the IL. Feels like the kind of guy you are forced to activate, but you just drop instead.
Angel Martinez – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Damn, all Angels in MLB are hot.
Nathan Eovaldi – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 1.60. Eovaldi credits his success to his teammate. He says he pictures each opposing hitter is Marcus Semien.
Carlos Rodon – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 2.88. Rodon also credited Marcus Semien.
Jorbit Vivas – 1-for-1 and his 1st career homer. Everything that is wrong with the Yankees happened yesterday and no one even commented on it (maybe they did, but it sounds more profound if I say that). Vivas hit his 1st career homer, walked in his other at-bat and the Rangers brought in a reliever and Aaron Boone replaced Vivas with a pinch-hitter, DJ LeMahieu. This move would not have made sense five years ago. In the year of our Lord 2025? DJ Le-Meh-eww? That’s why the Yankees keep spending $300 million and coming up short. Boone’s natural inclination for the awful veteran, when a perfectly decent rookie replacement exists. That bum should be DFA LeMahieu years ago! I’m so mad!
