I enjoy the internet’s daddy Pedro Pascal as much as anyone but there was an even more Fantastic Four happening Friday night and it was more cinematic than anything the MCU could dream up. The legend of Oakland Las Vegas Sacramento A’s first baseman Nick Kurtz continued as he hit a Fantastic Four home runs on the helpless Astros pitching staff en route to a historic night. “It’s Clobberin’ Time!” all right. It seems like just yesterday we were reading about Nick Kurtz’s minor league domination, a 1.090 OPS and eight home runs in just 21 games. The Legend grew. It wasn’t long before he was hitting 450-foot walk off home runs—sometimes multiple times in the same week. The Truth Kurtz! Little did we know the best was yet to come. Nick terrorized the Houston pitching staff Friday night going 6-for-6 with four home runs, six runs scored and eight runs batted in for 19 total bases. Have. A. Day. Rook. He became the first rookie in EVER to hit four home runs and the 20th player to do it in history (and the second in 2025 after Eugenio Suarez did it in June). When Jeff tweets about you three times in an hour you know you’re doing something special. The performance was arguably (or inarguably if you’re tryna win!) the greatest offensive performance in MLB history, rivaling Shawn Green’s 6-for-6 four home run game back in 2002 (Kurtz had one more RBI). For fantasy, he was good for 76 points in points leagues and likely the most points any player your fantasy app has ever seen. More incredible, if that’s possible, his fourth inning double could’ve been a home run in a handful of ballparks across the league. Robbed again of a five-homer game! But at least now Kurtz and Shohei have something to strive for. The 19 total bases tied the all time record, and the six runs is almost as rare, as it’s only happened four times in the past 45 years! Are you impressed yet? I got one more for you! Kurtz gained 0.8 fWAR with the monster game raising him from 2.2 to 3.0 in a single night, and that places him just 0.1 points behind Matt Olson, who had an entire month head start on Kurtz. If it isn’t obvious by now, Nick Kurtz might just be the best first baseman in all of baseball, and he’s looking like a top five fantasy pick next year. He’s slashing .305/.374/.686 with 23 home runs, 18 doubles, two triples and a 1.060 OPS, all record breaking stats for a rookie but he’s REALLY turned it on in July with 11 home runs, 27 runs batted in and a .425 average (1.576 OPS!). He’s come out of the All Star break hitting .593 with five home runs and nine doubles and he’s looking primed to carry fantasy owners to the promised land. Yes, please and Kurtz don’t it! I could gush about this kid all day, but at the end of the day we just witnessed one of the greatest games we will probably ever see. The greatest game ever A’d! He’s a special player having a special season and I just can’t wait to see what he does next.
Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:
Tyler Soderstrom – 2-for-5, HR (19), 3 RBI. I remember when Ty-Sod and his .258/.332/.458 with 19 dingers and 60 ribbies was the talk of the undesignated town name getting all that sweet ROY buzz, but Nick Kurtz makes Tyler Soderstrom look like Christian Walker. He makes Happy Gilmore look like Happy Gilmore 2.
Shea Langeliers – 3-for-5, 2 runs, HR (15), 2 RBI. I want a swiiiiiiiing, like Sheaaa Langeliersssss! Like Sheaaa Langeliersssssss!
Jeffrey Springs – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, BB, 5 K, 9th. He got some pretty decent run support in this one! You don’t say!
Ryan Gusto – 3.1 IP, 8 hits, 8 ER, BB, 5 K. Now do it again but next time, with Gusto!
Freddy Peralta – 5.0 IP, 5 hits, ER, 2 BB, 9 K. Freddy was ready to roll and notched 17 whiffs in this one, striking out the side in the fourth inning. I fear I’ve been underrating Peralta? His streak of seven straight wins ended Friday but the ratios (2.81 ERA, 1.09 WHIP) and K/BB ratio of 131/42 all scream ‘Ace’, even if he can’t make it through seven innings. He’s allowed more than three runs in a start just twice all year, steady Freddy is right!
Kyle Stowers – 1-for-3, HR (23), slashing .296/.376/.573. The Stowers of Powers continues! If we go back pre-break, which I hate to do, but let’s—he’s got seven home runs in eight games, including this blast-o. He’s got a .949 OPS with 10 homers in July, and this is a player who is apparently still available in 50% of ESPN leagues. That’s the same league your friend that forgot they signed up for a fantasy league in March is in.
Jackson Chourio – 1-for-4, HR (17). Not all players are Acuña or Nick Kurtz as soon as they hit the scene. They need a little more pre-heating, marinating, massaging the superstar-dom out of them over a few years. Honey Nut Chourios extended his 18 game hitting streak Friday with the bomb, a streak during which he’s scored 15 runs with 4 homers with 16 RBI. I’m not saying JC isn’t a superstar already, I’m saying Apple Cinnamon Chourios is going to get even better, and that’s kind of scary!
Ryne Nelson – 6.0 IP, 1 hit, 0 ER, 2 BB, 4 K versus Mike Burrows 6.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, BB, 5 K. Ryne Nelson allowed the only Pirate hit in a true pitcher’s duel Friday night as Anthony DeSclafani pitched four innings in relief for the win. Eugenio Suarez was the hitless hero with a sac fly in the 11th inning. You telling me pitching duel’s aren’t exciting!? Tell that to Anthony DeSclafani!
Kevin Ginkel – 1.0 IP, SV (3). Pitched a perfect (six pitch!) 11th inning to save a one-run game for his third save. Ginkel/Einhorn would seem to be the best option in the ninth, but as Ace Venture taught us things aren’t always as they seem, and Ginkel could be on a new team by this time next week. Also, his ERA is in the 7s and this was the Pirates.
Tyler O’Neill – 2-for-4, HR (4). I like Tyler. I’m one of his biggest supporters, just ask his wife, my probation officer, and the judge that issued me that restraining order against him. But the O’s signing an injury prone power hitting outfielder when they have several much younger versions of that prototype struggling for playing time has got to be one of the dumbest acquisitions of all time. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, they did sign Kyle Gibson.
Ezequiel Tovar – 1-for-3, 2 runs, HR (6). Mazel Tovar! His third homer since returning from the IL last week and he’s hit safely in all but one game since his return. I know we’re down bad for Rockies but he’s already matched his pre-IL stint home run total, he was quite recently both highly touted and a prospect, and he has a tendency to get hot in a hurry.
Mickey Moniak – 1-for-3, 2 runs, HR (16). He’s a Moniak, Moniak that’s for sure! And you should BUY him cause he plays home games at Cooooors! Mickey and his nine game hitting streak hit his third homer in the past week and he’s hitting over .400 in the stretch! Damn, Mickey, you so fine. IS he actually breaking out and it’s blowing my mind?! He was actually free from the Angels. Discount bargain bin outfielder with 17 game on base streak and 11 homers (ELEVEN) since June. Yup.
Seth Halvorsen – 1.0 IP, SV (10). I was actually surprised to hear the Rockies had more than 10 wins, so the 10 saves is kind of impressive.
Jose Berrios – 6.0 IP, 5 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K, 7th win. After a great start to the season Berrios has been shaky lately allowing 17 runs in five July starts. It hasn’t really mattered as he’s still managed to win three of those starts and the Jays now own the best record in baseball. No one does America’s pastime quite like, uh, Canada. The Jays just might be a wagon, ya’ll!
Vladimir Guerrero Jr. – 2-for-5, 2 runs, RBI. He’s slashing .291/.393/.453 with 13 homers aka 7 less than new number 1 first baseman Nick Kurtz.
Spencer Torkelson – 1-for-4, HR (23). He’s not really number one, Pete Alonso is. Both are better than Torkelson though. Also, the Tigers are reeeeling, ya’ll! What’s the opposite of a wagon?
Nick Pivetta – 6.1 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, 3rd L. Third straight quality start and he’s putting together a pretty stellar July, 1.17 ERA, 30/8 K/BB, opponents batting just .164 against him. The Dads seem to be one of the best equipped teams to go on a run down the stretch, but we’ve all had experiences with Dads letting us down.
Emmet Sheehan – 5.0 IP, 3 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, 2nd win. I saw E Sheeran and I started think “Shape of You” then I realized it was Sheehan and realized I need to stop Thinking Out Loud. Well, he might not be as great a song writer but Emmet came through after struggling through the first inning. This was actually his longest start of the season which is concerning, but he does get the Rays next week and I could see considering the prospect of maybe thinking about mulling over the possibility of contemplating whether or not I should review the option of potentially picking him up. I still don’t know for sure though!
Brayan Bello – 5.1 IP, 6 hits, 3 ER, 2 BB, 5 K. I’ve fully expected Mello Bello to turn into a pumpkin by now but he continues to impress even against the tougher teams. Got in a jam in the fifth and battled through it to strike out Freeman and Teoscar back-to-back. May Bello would have imploded.
Ben Casparius – 1.0 IP, 1 hit, SV (1). Kirby Yates pitched…wait, Wednesday? Hmm, so, yeah, I’m sure he’ll be back tomorrow night. Casparius is Mr. Manager Roberts Swiss Army knife, he does it all. Just like Kiké. If it was up to Roberts all players would play every position. He would build a team of Alex Cora’s in his prime. I wouldn’t lose Kirby just yet but its looking like the next Dodgers closer is probably not on the team yet.
Teoscar Hernandez – 1-for-3, HR (15), 3 RBI. Uncle Oscar took me to an R-Rated movie and bought me all the candy I could eat then brought me to his girlfriend’s apartment and I’m not supposed to tell you that part but it smelled a lot like cigarettes and cat pee.
Chandler Simpson – 1-for-3, run, SB (32). I realize he has no power but he has six steals in the past week and it baffles me he’s available in so many leagues. Simpson!? That’s unpossible! AM I so out of touch? No, it’s the children who are wrong! He’s a perfectly cromulent player!
Zack Littell – 6.0 IP, 10 hits, 5 ER, 2K. Little by Littel the Rays are fading back to obscurity.
MacKenzie Gore – 5.0 IP, 1 hit, ER, 6 BB, 4 K, 10th loss. While my dog is hype over the six walks he needed 100 pitches to get through five innings and even the dog knows that’s ruff.
Zebby Matthews – 6.0 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 0 BB, 7 K, 2nd win. He was almost your lede! Were you Zebby for it? His first quality start of the year after getting toughed up by the Rox last week. The fastball averaged 97+ and he Zebbily navigated a bases load jam in the sixth. He lowered his ERA 1.56 runs with what was likely the best start of his young career. The ratios are ugly but I’m all in on Matthews, and he gets the Sox away from Fenway next week. He’s so back. Never been so back.
Will Warren – 5.2 I.P, 5 hits, 2 ER, 3 BB, 7 K. Warren was one clunker away from the big D-ddddropppp but he had that sinker/sweeper combo working for him Friday against a very scary Phillies line up. Just when I think I’m out he pulls me back in and he gets a much softer match up with the Rays next week. We ride!
Kyle Schwarber – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 2 HR (36), 4 RBI. Schwarbs notched his 1000th hit Friday night and it looked a little something like this. Well of course it was a homer, and then he added another in the 8th for good measure. Golfed that one like Happy Gilmore 2, with way less cameos. There were more cameos in HG2 than laughs. That’s not to say I didn’t laugh! I would never talk disparagingly of the Sandman. There were just A LOT of cameos. My millennial ass ate that shit up. Slim Shady?! Fun! Speaking of fun, this was Schwarbs 10th home run in the past two weeks and his 11th this month. July is the new August people, and the Phillies, are clearly a wagon, ya’ll!
Cody Bellinger – 1-for-4, HR (19). Hope you like home runs cause there were seven of them in this one!
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4, HR (6). How long before he catches Gunnar Henderson?
Anthony Volpe – 1-for-4, HR (14). That’s now four home runs since I dropped him last week. I’m glad I could do my part to inspire this sudden power surge. I feel so happy for you, Anthony. Happy enough to scream out this window, pre-heat my oven, fill up my bath tub and plug in my toaster. Happy enough to view this gorgeous sunset view from the crumbling ledge high above the city.
Shota Imanaga – 3.0 IP, 12 hits, 7 ER, 0 BB, 2 K, 3 HR. Darlinggg hold my handdddd! Nothing beats a jet2 Holiday! Right now you can save £50 per person, that’s £200 off for a family of four!
Mike Tauchman – 1-for-4, HR (6). BUY! Guy’s got no action. He’s all Tauchman!
Adrian Houser – 6.2 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, 6th win. You think the Southside Sox were gonna let those Northside preppies come to their house and beat them!? If you want real deep dish, you come to the Southside! As for Adrian, he’s a brick Houser. The 2.10 ERA is a tad misleading as his xFIP is almost double that and he gets the Phils next week. Pick him up if you hate yourself.
Reese McGuire – 3-for-4, HR (6). He jerked that one right into the parking lot!
Colson Montgomery – 1-for-4, HR (3). He was a BUY and Col-So-Mo-Go now has three homers in the past week. Miguel Vargas was 3-for-4 and also a BUY. There’s value in White Sox! Who you got that’s better than that? One man’s trash, right?
Chase Meidroth – 3-for-4, 3 runs, HR (3). Edgar Quero – 4-for-5, 2 runs, RBI. White sox scored 12 runs off 18 hits and burned me for the second time in a week. You can add them but they will burn you too.
Michael Harris II – 2-for-3, HR (8). I’ve said it before but nothing breaks a struggling player out of a slump like them playing you in a H2H fantasy match up. Pity me! Feel bad for me!
Nathan Eovaldi – 5.0 IP, 3 hits, 0 ER, 4 BB, 7 K, 8th win. He K’d the side in the fifth. Nasty Nate had this start pushed back all the way from last Sunday but it was worth the wait as Squirrel Master delivered his cocktail, fruit! The 1.50 ERA through 17 starts is about as good as it gets, and if he didn’t miss so much time we might be talking about him way more. So let’s talk about him! Sub 1 WHIP. Check! 101/18 K/BB!? Okay! That 27.4 K%? Sweet sassy molassy! He’s allowed three earned runs just TWICE all year. EVO is cookin’ with gas, and oil! Bad for cholesterol but great for fantasy. If there’s one middling team I think could go on a run in the stretch it’s these Tejas Rangers. If they don’t trade everyone before that.
Francisco Lindor – 3-for-5, HR (20), SB (17). The slam & legs in SF is served with crab legs instead of leg legs, obviously. The Queenies got this one but Mets are fading faster than a TikTok trend and the Phils keep surging. I sense a big trade incoming! They could really use a Yoenis Cespedes right about now.
Bryan Woo – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, 2 BB, 6 K. Speaking of consistency, Woo has gone six innings in every start he’s pitched this year. I look back to April me complaining about the M’s conserving his arm not letting him go longer in games and now I see how wrong I was.
Jose Soriano – 6.0 IP, 4 hits, 2 ER, BB, 5 K. Gave up twin bombs to Julio Rodriguez, which was almost half as many homers as he’s given up all season! My dude does not dig the long ball.
Julio Rodriguez – 2-for-4, 2 HR (17). Summer Julio has finally arrived to pull me out of the depths of my roto league! Juul-Rod ripping the fattest vapes! Now six home runs in the past 11 games five steals and batting .356. Not much hotter than Julio en Julio! Except maybe Nick Kurtz. Still el Julio es fuego! Andale! Vamos a el championship! Julio’s got a .896 OPS with 43 home runs and 113 RBIs for his career post All Star break. Why is he the way that he is? No time to dwell on that, we’ve got a league to win! Don’t stop now, Juul-Rod, just keep ripping!
Thanks for reading! Questions? Problems? Complaints to management? Advice, small gifts or large bribes? Please leave it in the comments below. Join us next Saturday for another Friday recap as fantasy baseball continues next week, all week long!
