“Now, taking the stage, at the Pitching Coach Pulitzers for 2025, we have Jeremy Hefner of the New York Metropolitans and ‘Whoever the pitching coach is for the Royals my Google stopped working in early February when they started rolling out their AI product.’ Let’s see who the winner is…Wow, it’s all of us for getting to witness decent pitching!” (Curses to the person who is like, “Yeah, sure, man, but Kris Bubic isn’t good anymore.” The Pedantic Police called, there’s a warrant out for your arrest.) So, yesterday David Peterson went 9 IP, 0 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.49, as he threw 22 1st pitch strikes vs. 31 batters faced, and had 25 called strikes, 13 swinging and needed only 106 pitches. Under the hood, he’s working with a 8 K/9, 2.8 BB/9, 3.36 xFIP, and for the people who are just showing up, I actually had a sleeper post for him two years ago! He was terrible that year, but battled injuries and whatnot. Stop trying to ruin the fun! Peterson is low-key one of those Seth Lugo-types that the Mets produce so well. Not flashy (though his slider and change are nasty), and not hard to acquire in a trade, but extremely valuable. A man D. Peterson can’t buy love but can buy excellence! (So sorry for the people who get this reference, my brain in polluted with pop culture. It’s a disease, really.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Juan Soto – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer. Now, around a .400 average, 5 HRs and 10 RBIs in the last 12 games. Sexy Dr. Pepper spreading the message of love and pop.
Brandon Nimmo – 2-for-3, 3 runs, and his 11th and 12th homer. Nimmo didn’t find one, homefish found two!
Spencer Schwellenbach – 9 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.11. Extreme Justin Timberlake voice, “He’s bringing Schwellenbach.”
Ronald Acuña Jr. – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer. That’s in 18 games. You know, the ol’ 54-homer pace.
Michael Harris II – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer. Prior to this homer, he was on Player Rater at 259 overall. I’d oof, but I don’t have enough guttural oofing to emphasis the oof properly.
Rhys Hoskins – 1-for-3 and his 10th homer, hitting .257. Rhys’s peaces out that ball!
Chad Patrick – 5 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.25, and Aaron Civale was moved to the bullpen. For those of you wondering when Logan Henderson might be recalled. It might be within the next day or so.
Carmen Mlodzinski – Recalled by the Pirates. That recalling went: Pirates’ GM Ben Cherington puts fingers to temples, tightens eyes, trying to think of a name that doesn’t rhyme with Hubba Mandler, thinks so hard he lightly sharts, finally blurts out, “Carmen Mlodsomethingski!”
Bailey Falter – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.36. Don’t do the math in your head that you would’ve been better with Bailey Falter than Blake Snell, Tyler Glasnow or many non-Dodgers starters. It’ll make you cry. Streamonator for Falter? Sure, yeah, ignore that he’s been a 3.36 ERA pitcher and continue to stream.
Andrew McCutchen – 1-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer. He hit his 241st home run as a Pirate to pass Roberto Clemente. Becoming Pittsburgh royalty with that homer means he gets fries and coleslaw on any sandwich for the rest of his life, whether he wants it or not. Enjoy your BLTFCS, Cutch!
Heriberto Hernandez – 2-for-4 and his 1st major league homer. Great, super happy for Her-Her; I’ll make those my pronouns now, but I have one pregunta: Why was he hitting third? He has 25 MLB plate appearances and hit .220 in Triple-A with a 35 K% and he’s 25. Is 2025 Marlins’ Manager legit stupid? Put Her-Her in the lineup if you like, but hit him 9th, you embarrassment to brains!
Brendan Donovan – Underwent an MRI on his toe. So that must’ve been [muttering This Little Piggy to self]..this little piggy went to the hospital…Is that the third toe or fourth? Hmm, either way, he’s day-to-day for now.
Matthew Liberatore – 5 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 3.93. Was going to say he’s stopped being useful, and, while that is likely true, Streamonator rightfully points out his next start is vs. the Shite Sox.
Ernie Clement – 3-for-4 and his 4th homer. He usually hits two homers in two games, then disappears, so you have a chance here for one more.
Jesus Luzardo – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.23. My head is in my hands. I don’t know. Not sure how anyone could know. Sure, his peripherals look great, but guess when they also looked good? When he put up 20 ER in 5 2/3 IP. That’s not an exaggeration! That is literally what he did. Could he be fine? Sure. Could we also get to September and we look back and say, “If not for those two random starts, Luzardo would have a 2.10 ERA?” Yes, that’s possible too. I’m not rushing to pick him up where I dropped him. I’m on to the next headache.
Kyle Schwarber – 1-for-3, 2 runs and a slam (21) and legs (5), hitting .246. “Schwarbomb activate.” [eyes darken] Robot voice, “It. Is. June.”
Alec Bohm – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 6th homer, hitting .283, as he hits third, with Bryce out. On our 30-day Player Rater, he’s around top 50.
Ben Brown – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 5.71. Trying to cash in my “This pitcher should be better according to his peripherals” Get Out Of Bad Stats Card with my fantasy league commissioner to have them move me up in the standings and it’s not working.
Ben Casparius – 4 IP, 1 ER, ERA at 2.86. He’s the Dodgers’ 2nd best starter, which is hilariously sad. Roberts sounds like he’s finally figured that out, so Casparius moves from a deep league flyer to monocle in shallower leagues, and possibly picking him up, depending on how badly you need a starter. His numbers are quite good, and it’s just a matter of him being stretched out and commanding his pitches to continue to be worthwhile. I’m a fan.
Teoscar Hernandez – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 11th homer. Basically doing what is expected of him, minus two weeks where he missed time. …the Teoscar for reliability goes to…Teoscar. Hmm, pretty predictable.
Michael Kopech – 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 BBs in the 7th inning, and maybe he’s not the closer. This is why you shouldn’t have dropped Tanner Scott (1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.98), even though Alex Vesia (1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.79) worked the 9th yesterday. Scott worked the heart of the order and Vesia faced Tyler Wade and company. This tells me there’s five guys who could get saves, and it’s likely Tanner Scott 70% of the time and the other guys 30% of the time, until that changes, which is possible too.
Jarren Duran – 1-for-4 and his 5th homer. Can you buy him? That would be something I’d try to do.
Marcelo Mayer – 2-for-4 and his 2nd and 3rd homer. And. Dot dot dot. We’re back in!
Walker Buehler – 7 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 5.01. I dare you to pick up Buehler, Alcantara and Giolito. Actually, triple-dog dare.
Abraham Toro – 2-for-4 and his 5th homer, 2nd homer in four games, hitting around .380 in June. Is there a hotter schmotato? Not to answer but to just pick him up.
Shane McClanahan – Shut down and will visit a nerve specialist. Damn, starting to sound end-of-a-career-ish. Hopefully not. Rays really do serious damage to their pitchers. Send Cash to The Hague.
Zack Littell – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.84. Considering he allowed four homers, this ended up much better than it had any right being. Call him Zack Littell Wonder and have his Small Wonder sister Doing the Robot in the corner. “Doing the Robot” like the dance, you perv.
Yandy Diaz – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 10th homer, 2nd homer in four games. Weird year for Yandy, hitting for power and .256. Not normal for him. His agent must’ve been like, “Look at your home park, swing up, daddy.”
Ramon Urias – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and a slam (3) and legs (1), hitting .278. If you made him a batty call, then you get one, “Bend over and kiss my Urias!” on your league chatboard.
Jordan Westburg – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer, 2nd homer in two games, and two games since he’s returned from the IL. Jo-We, Jo-We, Jo-We, Jo-We! I’m beggin’ of you, please don’t take my man! He’s great, should be rostered in 100% of leagues.
Zach Eflin – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.08. He has a 6.1 K/9, 1.2 BB/9 and 4.05 xFIP. That’s “Solid for deep leagues, kinda whatever in shallower leagues, but if the O’s are winning, maybe it’s something.”
Jackson Jobe – Will undergo Tommy John surgery. See ya in 2027, the year of the Returning Tiger.
Marcus Semien – 1-for-4 and his 7th homer. Semien in the past 11 games: Near .500 average, 4 HRs and 10 RBIs, and moved up to cleanup. Two weeks ago, I told BDon I’d grab Semien if someone got sick of him. Remind me to rub that in his face this week.
Jack Leiter – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 3.88. Between him and Jobe and Kumar and I’m trying to think of other rookie starters, well, it hasn’t been the greatest year for young starters.
Byron Buxton – 3-for-3, 3 RBIs and a slam (11) and legs (11). 11/11 on June 11th, make a wish. “Please let him stay healthy.” I just jinxed him, didn’t I?
David Festa – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.76. I want to Festa, karamu, forever, sing that song! Lionel aside, Festa’s thrown 22 2/3 IP, so can’t pull much from it, but he’s one of the few young starters who is getting Ks (9.9 K/9) and backing up the prospect pedigree. Still likely a cyclops with a monocle in 12-team and shallower mixed leagues.
Christian Walker – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 9th homer. I was told he still plays baseball, and I did not believe the person. Silly me!
Bryan Woo – 6 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 3.39. Boo.
Eduardo Rodriguez – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 5.27. His peripherals are one of those that should have everyone buying, but with a big caveat: He hasn’t pitched anywhere near as well as he should be, so it could be iffy if not downright disastrous.
Pavin Smith – 1-for-3 and his 5th homer, hitting .277. The road less Pavin’d is rostering him in fantasy since that two-week stretch he was good in April. ‘Member the crap I got from people saying Pavin Smith was breaking out? It’s okay, I’ll remember for both of us.
Eugenio Suarez – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 19th homer or his 39th homer since last All-Star Break. Pete Alonso has 32.
Brent Rooker – 4-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 14th and 15th homer. Occasionally, I’ll get a question about dropping Rooker, and it’s one of the more head scratchier ones. On pace for 35 homers and hitting .276. Not really sure what is expected of him. Come to your house and walk your dog? Take out trash? Have you asked?
JP Sears – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 5.08. Actually, looked better than the line, but he always is a bit better on the road, like most A’s starters.
Jo Adell – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 13th homer, and 2nd homer in three games, and has four homers since last Saturday. The people are screaming, “Mo’ Adell! Mo’ Adell! Mo’ Adell!” and someone overhearing them nods, saying, “I miss Modell’s too.”
Willy Adames – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 7th homer. He’s a 40-homer guy if the Giants Kevin McCallister his ass in Colorado.
Patrick Bailey – Hit the IL with a neck strain. Giants are down a catcher and a third baseman. Should make stealing 3rd easier. I guess Knizner becomes their catcher. If it was Potato Knizner, I’d put mustard on him. Since it’s not, I won’t.
Nick Lodolo – 3 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.76. On Monday: [moving Luzardo to my bench, because I don’t trust him and starting Lodolo instead]. Today: [wanders into traffic wearing nothing but a burlap sack] For what it’s Wuertz, Lodolo seems fine to hold, if a bit yawnstipating.
Elly De La Cruz – 2-for-4 and his 13th homer. I’m so wildly pot committed to E! I’m scared to even say anything, but his Launch Angle’s meh and his ground balls are out of control.
TJ Friedl – 1-for-3 and his 7th homer, hitting .294, 2nd homer in three games, and third homer in a week. Friedl, Friedl, Friedl, you showed up to play!
Lane Thomas – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 1st homer, hitting leadoff. Welcome to the 2025 season, Lane! He has been solid since returning from the IL, and is worth a looksie, if he was dropped in your league.
Carlos Santana – 1-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 8th homer. Oye como yay!
Logan Allen – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 4.28. Logan Allen isn’t just a name that sounds like a furniture store, he’s also a guy with some of the worst peripherals you’ve ever seen.
Aaron Judge – 1-for-4 and a slam (25) and legs (6). Oh, don’t start stealing bags too. You’re already too valuable. Please, I don’t have you in any leagues!
Ben Rice – 1-for-5, 1 RBI and his 3rd steal. Could start as catcher for some games when Giancarlo returns. Guess good for his eligibility, but not good at all for his playing time, so likely makes him unstartable when Giancarlo returns. Cheer up, his nephew can still call him Uncle Ben Rice.
Clarke Schmidt – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.60. Yankees actually have developed some decent pitching of late. Too bad they also trade it away as frequently.
Kris Bubic – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER, ERA at 1.92. He’s not a 1.43 ERA pitcher. That shouldn’t be a huge shock to you. If you’re now looking at dropping a starter with a sub-2 ERA, you need to cool off. Go for a jog or something.
Cole Ragans – Hit the IL with a rotator cuff strain. Listen, I’m fine with pitchers being hurt. It sucks, I feel for them (and me), but can we just say, “(Pitcher’s name) hurt his arm,” and stop saying they strained their groin because it’s causing me to strain my groin by pulling my pud! [balloons fall from ceiling] Oh my! What’s going on? Oh, are these the balloons that signal I’ve used a phrase for the first time ever on Razzball after typing five million words? And that phrase is “pulling my pud?” So cool! What do I win? More balloons? Oh, okay.
