So, I was enjoying my Father’s Day with my dog, Ted. He was tossing me the frisbee, I was catching it in my mouth (in our house, we don’t assign roles). Then it was announced that Rafael Devers was traded to the Giants, and I started rolling on the floor, laughing, and Ted gave me a treat. Red Sox were so big mad that he wouldn’t pick up his glove again — even though he plays miserable defense! — they traded him. Or could Gerrit Cole have impersonated Red Sox GM Breslow and worked out this trade to get Devers out of the division? Nah, not with his Kermit the Frog voice. Did they really have to open a spot for Wilyer Abreu at the expense of Devers? One thing is for sure, being a superstar for the Red Sox is as good as having one foot out the door. Can’t wait until the next Dodgers/Giants series and Betts and Devers can howl in laughter. Red Sox have unlimited resources and lowkey act like a low-budget team. This is seriously nuts. I need to sit down. [sits down, stands back up after two seconds] I’m back! They traded him for Jordan Hicks and Kyle Harrison. Hicks is hurt and Harrison was immediately optioned to the minors. That might be worse than what they got for Mookie Betts. What an awful trade! Hold up! Mookie Betts, Rafael Devers and Chris Sale have netted Vaughn Grissom, Alex Verdugo, Connor Wong, Jeter Downs, Jordan Hicks, and Kyle Harrison. Those trades would have the Red Sox kicked out of a fantasy league. So, Rafael Devers is exactly who he is in any park. He might actually gain a few homers, because he won’t have doinks off the Monster go for 110 MPH singles. That might also hurt his average though, in the long run. At end of the day, Devers is who he is, and the Red Sox tell Devers, “No glove, no love.”
This Friday lmao
— Razzball (@razzball.bsky.social) June 15, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Grant Holmes – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 15 Ks, ERA at 3.97
Imagine a game of Name That Tune, but with pitchers and Ks:
“I can strike out 10 Rockies in 100 pitches,” Chris Sale says.
Strider smiles slyly, “I can strike out 13 Rockies in 87 pitches.”
Grant Holmes laughs maniacally and says, “I can strike out 15 Rockies in 93 pitches.”
Strider says, “Well, it’s two more hitters you’re striking out, but it’s in more pitches, so are we supposed to be impressed?”
A voice rings out, “Hol’ up!” Bryce Elder runs in, crashing through the screen door. His face bloodied from the screen, he spits out, “I can strike out two Rockies in three and third innings! In 70 pitches! Huh?!”
Happy Father’s Day to everyone, but especially Grant Holmes. The DNA test came back, and you’re 100% the Rockies’ daddy. Hilariously (not hilariously), one start like that can take a guy’s 73 previous innings and make his peripherals appear gorge, and can engorge. His previous three starts were meh on earned runs allowed, but nice on Ks. His perfs — 10.4 K/9, 3.9 BB/9, 3.47 xFIP — paints a picture of, uh, pitcher who should be rostered in 12-team mixed leagues or deeper or whose name should at least be used to remember the Great Lakes.
Spencer Strider – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA at 4.35. As aforementioned, that was 13 Ks in 87 pitches. So. Dot dot dot. I did tell someone in the comments the other day to buy low on Strider. After this start, that’s gonna be much harder. Now, this vs. the Suckies, so don’t expect him to be completely out of the woods, but the only thing that seemed to be off was his command, the last thing to return for guys coming back from arm surgery.
Zach Agnos – Optioned to the minors. Rockies wanted everyone to know, they are not Agnostic. Seth Halvorsen might get saves, maybe Jake Bird, maybe you should look elsewhere.
Ryan McMahon – 1-for-5 and his 10th homer, and 2nd homer of the weekend series in Atlanta, so maybe schmotato, but I’d only look at him in Coors, i.e., McMahon rules the WWE (World of Wrestling Expectations).
Jack Flaherty – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER, ERA at 4.03. Standing in a six-feet-deep ditch labeled, “Everywhere.” Huh, they did say Flaherty would get me everywhere.
Will Vest – 2/3 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 1.80, and the blown save, but what’s worst? He left with a trainer. What’s better? It was his pinky that was bothering him. What’s neither here nor there, I don’t know how bad his pinky is. What’s next? Maybe Tommy Kahnle’s saves.
Jahmai Jones – 1-for-3 and his 2nd homer, as he continues to hit leadoff against lefties with Parker Meadows (0-for-3) in the 9-hole. Aggravating!
Wenceel Perez – 2-for-3 and his 4th homer, hitting .302. He has a .323 xBA, which is a goofy stat, but worth noting, so I’m noting it. Near 42% on the sweet spot, and 36% squared-up. His Hard Hit% is low and he had five barrels. (This is all from before yesterday.) So, I looked, and there’s too small of a sample to conclude anything. He has same Sweet Spot% as Justin Turner and Lenyn Sosa and less barrels than Spencer Horwitz with similar number of batted ball events. It’s all noise, but it’s good noise for now. So, monocle, which I’m clearly doing already.
Emilio Pagan – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.34 as he entered the 8th in a two-run game to face the bottom the order. Um, did Francona forget what inning it was? Tony Santillan (1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 2.73) worked the 9th, and has been great, but Pagan is my pickup of the year in one league. Yes, it’s a deep league! Stop judging me! (It’s actually Tout Wars, where I’m currently in 1st place, so natch.) I guess stash Santillan if you’re desperate for saves.
Elly De La Cruz – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 16th homer, 4th straight game with a homer, hitting .273. E! is better than taking E.
Eury Perez – 4 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, zero Ks, ERA at 6.43. His upside is too great, so I wouldn’t be dropping, but, if you can afford it, I’d bench him until his 1st solid start.
Dane Myers – 3-for-4 and his 4th homer, three hits in two of the past three games, and two hits in the other. Hot schmotato alert!
Brady House – Nats announced they’re calling up House. Itch just gave you his latest prospect stash list, and Brady House was third, saying, “He’s second in the International League with 13 home runs, slashing .303/.352/.522 despite a 27.1 percent strikeout rate, and oh-for-beating-up Grey.” What kind of stat is that? Trying to square the circle with mom saying no playing ball in the Brady House and Brady House playing ball. Hurting my brain. House will play 3rd every day, and bring huge power, but might struggle on average. I tried to grab him everywhere because daddy needs power and upside and it’s Father’s Day!
Jordan Walker – 1-for-4 as he was activated from the IL. Ooh, quick! Someone tell 2024 Grey!
Ivan Herrera – 2-for-3 and his 8th homer, hitting .312. I’d be happy if a few of my rostered 1st basemen had eight homers and were hitting .312.
Quinn Priester – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 3 Ks, ERA at 3.46. On the Red Sox and Pirates for his career, he was a ~5.30 ERA. Then: [Brewers twist Rubik’s cube, it locks in with the pattern revealed, which is Quinn’s face]
Matthew Boyd – 6 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 3 Ks, ERA at 2.79. Ya know who’s done pretty well this year? Guess who I’m gonna say. Matthew Boyd, you dodo! I’m in his blurb. Crap, who locked the door? I’m stuck in his blurb and I can’t get out. Seriously, can anyone hear me? Hello?
Mike Burrows – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 8 Ks, ERA at 4.24. This start came against Matthew Boyd, as MB faced off with MB and the winner got a Mercedes-Benz Maybach Matchbox. Where do I send it? Okay, enough tomfoolery! Burrows has a 9.6 K/9, 2.7 BB/9, 3.39 xFIP and I picked him up in one deep league last week, and I’m still struggling to recommend him to youse, due to his command. Streamonator hates his next one, but if you wanna try him, well, do as I do.
Giancarlo Stanton – Will return Monday or Tuesday. A’la the Titanic captain, “Horn time, right ahead!”
Luis Gil – Expected back after the All-Star break. Those lat strains are sneaky, especially when they were “shoulder discomfort” a week prior to his IL stint.
Max Fried – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 1.89. He gave up one big fly (Rafael Devers’s 15th homer) but got big Fried! Bam! No bam? Yeah, you’re prolly right.
Brayan Bello – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA at 3.49. Can you sell Bello? No? Okay, can you just not buy? How about that for his Garbage Pail Kid? No Buyin’ Bello.
Hunter Dobbins – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.74. If I were him, I’d talk trash about all the teams in the majors. “My dad used to hang out with Jeff Conine, and he never washed his ass.” That’s Dobbins getting ready to face the Marlins.
Yusei Kikuchi – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.05. 10 Ks in under six innings is hard to hate. [pinches eyes tightly closed, grits teeth] Hold on, trying to work up some hate.
Nolan Schanuel – 2-for-4 and his 4th homer, hitting .282. 1st homer in almost a month. Schanuel sounds like a Canal Street knock-off, but that’s the only time his name is mentioned with knocks. Bam! Got his ass!
Gary Sanchez – 2-for-4, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and 2nd homer in two games. He’s hitting .162 on the year. He’s hitting so poorly, I opened his player page and it showed me his pitching stats.
Ramon Urias – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer, hitting .278, 2nd homer in four games. Since Roman Anthony’s call-up, Ramon Empire 2, Roman Empire 0.
Jordan Westburg – 2-for-4, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 7th homer, and 3rd homer since he was activated from the IL. That happened last week.
Landen Roupp – 1 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.99. Just want my pitchers to be normal. Why is that so hard for us? Them being the ones doing the pitching, me being the one that rosters them in fantasy. Roupp’s peripherals have normalized, and he looks like a streamer in most shallower mixed leagues, but Streamonator loves his next one, so there’s that.
Emmet Sheehan – Will start for the Dodgers this week. He only went 3 1/3 IP in his last rehab start, but the Dodgers liked what they saw, and they have exactly one and half starters. Mostly the 2nd reason.
Roki Sasaki – Has stopped throwing. Career change? Sounds like Roki could be out a while, if not for the year. One of the bigger busts of the year. Gotta wonder if he didn’t follow Senga and Yamamoto, would he have been drafted so highly? I don’t know, tee be aitch. My guess is no.
Shohei Ohtani – 3-for-3, 2 runs and his 1st start will be tomorrow. Let’s see if he can be better than the Dodgers’ current number two, Enrique Hernandez. Ohtani’s just the Opener, so if you have to choose where to use him, please don’t ask.
Tyler Mahle – Hit the IL with shoulder soreness. Welp, it was either that or regression. I’ll take the IL. Kumar Rocker (5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 7.31) returned from the minors for Mahle’s spot. I won’t be taking him.
Luke Jackson – 1 IP, 0 ER, ERA at 3.91, and his 9th save. Jackson got hit around on Saturday, then put Robert Garcia in an impossible situation, and now Bochy goes back to Jackson on Sunday for the save. Because: Reasons? Shrugs. I don’t know. Jackson might be the closer again or Garcia might’ve been MIA on Sunday because he worked on Friday and Saturday. Too soon to drop Garcia.
Aaron Civale – 5 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.67. Late last week, Civale requested a trade from the Brewers, and was sent packing to the White Sox. Last time he requests a trade!
Miguel Vargas – 1-for-4 and his 10th homer, hitting .242. Elias Sports Bureau said, “Vargas is the first Miggy who plays baseball and isn’t great.” Oh, c’mon, Elias! That’s not trivia.
J.P. Crawford – 1-for-3, 4 RBIs and his 6th homer. 1st homer in June, but is hitting .400+ in the month. Feels like a schmotato, but might just be an underrated guy for average and runs and as I type that out I yawn.
Emerson Hancock – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 4.48 vs. Luis L. Ortiz – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.64. This matchup was billed as, “Ladies Love/Hancock–[Cancel Police break down the door, drag me away] I didn’t even say anything yet!”
Cristopher Sanchez – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 5 Ks, ERA at 3.05. Wanna sing the praises of Sanchez — 9.9 K/9, 3.2 BB/9, 3.13 xFIP, 54% GB rate — but I’m afraid if I say anything nice, Luzardo will pitch another awful game to spite me in the league where I still have him, or, since I dropped him in another league, he’ll pitch a gem and really spite me. He’s damaged me so bad I’m worried about what Luzardo will do when I see one of his teammates pitch. Or hit, for that matter! I’m a beaten dog, cowering in the corner!
Zack Wheeler – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.76. Announced he’ll be retiring after the 2027 season. Sounds like we’re getting a 2028 Zack Wheeler podcast called, No One Asked For This.
Alec Bohm – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 3 RBIs and his 7th homer, hitting .283. Also, in this game Nick Castellanos (1-for-5, 4 RBIs) homered. Bohm has seven homers; how many does Castellanos have? More or less! Answer me! Don’t look it up, guess! Fooled ya, he has same number. (Bohm’s hitting for a better average, though.)
Jose Berrios – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.81. Call him Ober-rios.
Jacob deGrom – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 hits, zero walks, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.19. This was deGrom at his finest. It wasn’t the great command. It wasn’t the strikeouts. It was that deGrom signature, the No Decision.
Shane Baz – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners (4 BBs), 6 Ks, ERA at 4.54. Four walks vs. six Ks is a red flag, like when your dad says, “Mom’s spending time with the mailman.”
Junior Caminero – 1-for-3, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 17th homer, 2nd homer in two games. Junior thrashing the senior circuit!
Tylor Megill – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, ERA at 3.95, but three more unearned runs for a small ticker shock, and more than a bit of relief. Feel like I say this a lot, but Megill is one of a handful of starters (I mention every one of them), that looks like a Buy, and should have his numbers take a positive turn.
Griffin Canning – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 3.80. He’s become droppable, as my father once said about a baby me.
Jacob Lopez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 4.80. So, J. Lo’s numbers are somewhat polluted by his time as a reliever. The numbers as a starter aren’t awful, and the only real weak point is the command, which his minor-league numbers indicate should be much better. This start was in Kauffman (easy), and Streamonator for now, but I’m more monocley on him than I thought I would be.
Nick Kurtz – 2-for-4 and his 6th homer, and 1st homer since his return from the IL, i.e., Kurtz is no longer hurtz.
Austin Wynns – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer, and 2nd homer in his last two games (not the A’s last two games). That’s right, he’s on the A’s now. Now you see him, now you don’t with Wynns, Austin and Steve.
Noah Cameron – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 1.91. Has allowed only 3 ER in 31 2/3 IP, and 6 ER in the other 5 2/3 IP. So, 0.85 ERA in all but one start. The Prime Minister laying Downing the law!
Jackson Merrill – Hit the 7-day concussion IL. Oddly enough, I saw cartoon birds circling my head on Saturday when Robert Suarez gave up 5 ER in a 1/3 IP.
Fernando Tatis Jr. – 4-for-5, 3 run, 1 RBI, 15th steal, hitting .277. Prior to yesterday, zero homers, hitting .256 in June. Was hitting .349 with eight homers on the Monday after I told you to Sell him on April 18th. Cust kayin’.
Nick Pivetta – 7 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.40. Was a much needed good start, after back-to-back stinkers. Well, not for me, I don’t roster him anywhere.
Eugenio Suarez – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 21st homer. Since last All-Star break, he has 41 homers. Vlad Jr. has 24.
Simeon Woods Richardson – 5 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 1 walk, 4 Ks, ERA at 5.13. Removed at 53 pitches, after allowing one hit. Yo, Baldelli, who hurt you? Me! That’s who! Let me near this guy!
Brooks Lee – 3-for-4 and his 7th homer, hitting .267, and his 2nd homer in two games, 3rd homer this month, hitting around .350 in that time. Hot schmotato alert!
Royce Lewis – Hit the IL due to his hamstring. The doctor said, “Wow, where ya been? I haven’t seen you in two weeks. Do you not like me anymore? Have you been using another doctor? You get a new HMO?”
Brandon Walter – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 hits, zero walks, 9 Ks, ERA at 1.53. Good news is I was right to pick him up last Sunday. The bad news is I benched him everywhere. Need to get Sunday Grey on the same page with Monday Grey. So, Bra-Bra Walter is my new favorite starter. Small sample but: 9.7 K/9, 0.5 BB/9, 2.25 xFIP and wouldn’t mention any of those numbers if he didn’t have 70-grade command in the minors. Would be looking to pick him up in most mixed leagues 12-team and deeper. If he can maintain the command — and there’s no reason to think he can’t — he could be a solid find.
Hunter Brown – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 12 Ks, ERA at 1.88 vs. Joe Ryan – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.93. This matchup was billed all over the world as “Brown/Ryan,” for the Nigerian remake of Patriot Games, but it was billed in the States as Hunter/Joe, the Treasonous Pardon.
